Monday, March 20, 2023

Book Review: Everybody Fights

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better At It? was first released in March of 2021 from Thomas Nelson/W. Publishing.

I am a fan of Penn and Kim's videos. I first saw them on my Facebook stream. I eventually subscribed to their YouTube channel. They make me laugh. It also helps they that operate out of North Carolina where we used to live (Raleigh). Just a lot of fun. At the end, usually when I am ready to jump to the next video, they are plugging their merch. They say "check out our book" too. Completely skipped my radar until recently when going through the shelves at our library and happened across a copy. Why not check it out? Should be an entertaining read, right?

Their book is a very honest discussion about marriage and relationships and how we often don't say what we mean with our significant others. It is written in an entertaining style, giving the reader both of their perspectives of real fights they have had. With the help of their marriage coach (you can tell which parts of the book he provided input), they explain the techniques Edmonston provided them to help handle those situations better. All in all, it all boils down to two words: clear communication. Couples need to clearly communicate with one another to prevent smaller issues from growing into larger ones.

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